ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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