he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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