Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
