I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
