Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
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My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize