I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Michael Bay diarrhea
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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