some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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