I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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