$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
