Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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