Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize