On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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