yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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