I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
