I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she was so not down for the gang bang
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
