The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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