The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
