My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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