rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
