you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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