Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
