some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
