i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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