i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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