i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
