I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
