I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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