If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
