Nicole vs. Life
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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