I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sobbing to NWA
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
