shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
