Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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