I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
