And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
