I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize