thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
