i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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