My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
