So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline