we're chasing vodka with high fives
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French