btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Bring me that man meat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
