i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize