Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
