I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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