Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
