I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
they're like a gay fantastic four
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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