Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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