More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
high people should be assigned attendants
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
