i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
