a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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