You work out of a Hotel?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
