so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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