Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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