Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
