So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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