I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
