The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
