well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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