Can Purell be used as lube?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
